The Oldest Swinger In Town Lyrics And Chords

This song was recorded by the Irish folk group The Bards who are the group in the youtube video. It was also covered by Fred Wedlock and Foster And Allen.Written by Fred Wedlock, Chris Newman and Ed Pickford. In that link to Foster And Allen you'll find a whole lot more of these kind of old folk songs. The Bards also sing The Old Dungarvan Oak song . These guitar chords in chordpro are in C Major with a separate set of chords in G..The oldest swinger in town sheet music is available.

When[C] your scoring with a chick in a[G7] disco[C] bar
[F]Take her home in your[C] hairy little car
Then you find you[E] went to school with her[Am] ma and[F] da
Your the[C] oldest swinger in[G7] town[C]

When you wont look in the mirror in the light of day
Sware you've died it when your hair turns grey
When you zip up your trousers and your belly's in the way
Your the oldest swinger in town

Here you come and there you go
White wheels spots and a stereo
But the engine is jacked and the driver is too
You're the oldest swinger in town

The barber takes a little less time each week
The kids don't understand a word you speak
When you walk into a disco and they offer you a seat
You're the oldest swinger in town

You prefare a pint of shandy to Bacardi and Coke
The sounds are too loud and there's too much smoke
You'd like another dance but you're afraid you'll get a stroke
You're the oldest swinger in town

Here you come with your chest all bare
A little gold ingot and a lot of gold hair
Like the disco king meets Yogi Bear
You're the oldest swinger in town

When you're feeling as stiff as a skinhead's boot
Rub on Vick's where you used to splash Brut
And the latest punk fashion is your wedding suit
You're the oldest swinger in town

When you have to go shopping for your sex appeal
Travolta's shades and nine inch heels
They say a man is just as old as the woman he feels
Yo're the oldest swinger in town

Here you come with your lips closed tight
You never smile you know it wouldn't look right
Cause your dentures glow in the ultraviolet light
You're the oldest swinger in town

And you look so mean
Cause your pants are too tight
You're the oldest swinger in town

And it takes you all night
To do what you used to do all night
You're the oldest swinger in town

This is the ballad of a man who should’ve retired his dancing shoes thirty years ago, but instead keeps strutting around like John Travolta’s uncle after three hip replacements. Let’s give it the full Irish commentary:

We open with:
“When you’re scoring with a chick in a disco bar…
then you find you went to school with her ma and da.”
That’s not romance --
that’s archaeology.
If you’re old enough to remember her parents doing their Leaving Cert,
you shouldn’t be flirting with her --
you should be babysitting her.
That’s when the penny drops:
You’re the oldest swinger in town.

Then:
“You won’t look in the mirror in the light of day.”
Of course not --
the wrinkles might wink back at you.
The hair's turning grey --
and you swear you dyed it.
Aye you did --
dyed it by accident with stress and age.
And trying to zip your trousers
but the belly’s in the way?
That’s not fashion --
that’s a health warning.

Then O’Flashy McMidlifeCrisis arrives:
“White wheel spots and a stereo.”
He’s got the tricked–out motor --
but the engine’s knackered
and so is he.
He revs like he’s 20 --
but internally he’s creaking like a haunted wardrobe.

The barber:
“takes a little less time each week.”
Because there’s less hair
and more scalp.
When the disco staff give you a chair
as soon as you walk in --
you’re not clubbing --
you’re being supervised.

Then:
“You prefer a pint of shandy to Bacardi and Coke.”
Because the hangovers now last three days
and require medical intervention.
The music’s too loud,
the smoke too thick,
and if you dance too hard
you’ll pull a muscle you didn’t know you had.

You show off:
“your chest all bare, a little gold ingot and a lot of gold hair.”
You look less like a disco stud
and more like
a hairy biscuit dipped in jewelry.
Like Yogi Bear on a stag night.

Instead of Brut cologne:
you’re rubbing Vicks on stiff joints.
The only thing you’re attracting now
is sympathy.
And when your wedding suit now counts as punk fashion --
you’ve gone full vintage.

You try to spice up the look:
Travolta’s shades and nine–inch heels.
You think you look like Saturday Night Fever
but actually you resemble
a confused owl in platforms.

Then the lighting betrays you:
“your dentures glow in the ultraviolet light.”
Imagine trying to smile seductively
and flashing a neon graveyard at the girls.

The final punch:
“It takes you all night
to do what you used to do all night.”
That’s not innuendo --
that’s a medical statistic.

In summary:
This song is a glorious roast of the aging man who STILL thinks he’s the catch of the century --
strutting around the dancefloor like a young buck,
while his knees sound like bubble wrap
and his heart sounds like a bodhrán.
It’s Irish humour at its finest --
merciless, affectionate, and painfully true:
Growing old is inevitable --
but growing up is clearly optional.

🎸 1. Full lyrics with all chords in G Major
🎶 2. Suggested strumming pattern
🎵 3. A catchy intro fingerpicking tab

🎸 Key: G Major

Tempo: ~100 bpm (laid-back shuffle or light swing feel)
Time signature: 4/4
Style: Pub folk / comedy ballad

🎶 Strumming Pattern

For a light, bouncy swing rhythm (think pub singalong or 70s novelty song):

Main Pattern (4/4):

↓ ↓↑ ↑↓↑
1 2& 3&4&

OR, for a more playful “boom-chuck” feel:

Bass ↓ Down-Up Bass ↓ Down-Up

👉 Emphasize beats 2 and 4 slightly for that classic “swinger” feel.

🎸 Intro Fingerpicking Tab (in G Major)

A cheeky little 2-bar hook to kick it off — fits the melody of “When you’re scoring with a chick in a disco bar.”

G C D7 G
e|--------3--------2--0-|--------0--1--0----------2--3---|
B|----0--------1--------|----1-----------3----1----------|
G|--0--------0----------|--0-----------------------------|
D|----------------------|-------------------0------------|
A|----------------------|3-------------------------------|
E|3---------------------|-------------------------------3|

Play once or twice before launching into Verse 1.

🎵 Full Lyrics with Chords (in G Major)
Verse 1

When [G]you’re scoring with a chick in a [D7]disco [G]bar
[C]Take her home in your [G]hairy little car
Then you [A7]find you went to school with her [D7]ma and [C]da
You’re the [G]oldest swinger in [D7]town [G]

Verse 2

When you [G]won’t look in the mirror in the [D7]light of [G]day
[C]Swear you’ve dyed it when your [G]hair turns grey
When you [A7]zip up your trousers and your [D7]belly’s in the way
You’re the [G]oldest swinger in [D7]town [G]

Chorus

Here you [C]come and there you [G]go
White wheels, [D7]spots and a stereo
But the [C]engine is jacked and the [G]driver is too
You’re the [A7]oldest swinger in [D7]town [G]

Verse 3

The [G]barber takes a little less [D7]time each [G]week
[C]The kids don’t understand a [G]word you speak
When you [A7]walk into a disco and they [D7]offer you a seat
You’re the [G]oldest swinger in [D7]town [G]

Verse 4

You [G]prefer a pint of shandy to [D7]Bacardi and [G]Coke
[C]The sounds are too loud and there’s [G]too much smoke
You’d [A7]like another dance but you’re a[D7]fraid you’ll get a stroke
You’re the [G]oldest swinger in [D7]town [G]

Verse 5

Here you [G]come with your chest all [D7]bare
A [C]little gold ingot and a [G]lot of gold hair
Like the [A7]disco king meets [D7]Yogi Bear
You’re the [G]oldest swinger in [D7]town [G]

Verse 6

When you’re [G]feeling as stiff as a [D7]skinhead’s [G]boot
[C]Rub on Vick’s where you [G]used to splash Brut
And the [A7]latest punk fashion is your [D7]wedding suit
You’re the [G]oldest swinger in [D7]town [G]

Verse 7

When you [G]have to go shopping for your [D7]sex ap[G]peal
[C]Travolta’s shades and [G]nine-inch heels
They [A7]say a man is just as old as the [D7]woman he feels
You’re the [G]oldest swinger in [D7]town [G]

Verse 8

Here you [G]come with your lips closed [D7]tight
You [C]never smile, you [G]know it wouldn’t look right
’Cause your [A7]dentures glow in the [D7]ultraviolet light
You’re the [G]oldest swinger in [D7]town [G]

Tag Ending

And you [C]look so mean
’Cause your [G]pants are too tight
You’re the [A7]oldest swinger in [D7]town [G]

And it [C]takes you all night
To do [G]what you used to do all night
You’re the [A7]oldest swinger in [D7]town [G]
Yeah, the [A7]oldest swinger in [D7]to-o-own [G]

Alternative version.
🎶 “The Oldest Swinger in Town” — Guitar Arrangement

Key: D major
Time: 4/4 (swing feel)
Tempo: ♩ = 128
Tuning: Standard (EADGBE)

🎸 1️⃣ STRUMMING PATTERN — Swing Shuffle Groove

This is not straight time — it swings. Think “chicka-boom, chicka-boom.”

Pattern:
↓ ↓↑ ↑↓↑ (Swing eighths)

Count: 1 & 2 & 3 & 4 &
Accent on beats 2 and 4 (like a snare hit).

Palm-mute gently for the verses, open up on the chorus.

Example (D chord):

e|--2--2---2---2--|
B|--3--3---3---3--|
G|--2--2---2---2--|
D|--0--0---0---0--|
A|-----------------|
E|-----------------|
↓ ↓↑ ↑↓↑

🎵 2️⃣ CHORDS USED
Chord Fingering Notes
D xx0232 tonic
A x02220 dominant
A6 x02222
G 320003
Bm x24432
F/C x33211 optional color
B11 x21200 jazz passing
D9sus4 xx0213
A/C# x42220
E 022100
B x24442
🎼 3️⃣ CHORD OUTLINE (by lyric phrase)
Lyrics Chords
When you score with a chick in a disco bar D – A – D
Take her home in your hairy little car G – Bm
Then you find you went to school with her Ma and Pa D – B11 – G – Bm
You’re the oldest swinger in town D – A – D
Here you come and there you go, white wheels spots G – D – A6
And a stereo but the engine’s jacked and the driver’s too E – A – D9sus4 – D – B – Bm – G – D – A/C# – D
🎸 4️⃣ FINGERPICKING PATTERN — Country Shuffle Arpeggio

Perfect for verses; use alternating bass.

Pattern: P–i–m–i–a–m–i–m (swing the rhythm!)

Example (D chord):

D
e|---------2-----------2---|
B|-------3---3-------3---3-|
G|-----2-------2---2-------|
D|---0----------------------|
A|--------------------------|
E|--------------------------|
P i m i a m i m

Example (A chord):

A
e|---------0-----------0---|
B|-------2---2-------2---2-|
G|-----2-------2---2-------|
D|---2----------------------|
A|-0------------------------|
E|--------------------------|

Example (G chord):

G
e|---------3-----------3---|
B|-------0---0-------0---0-|
G|-----0-------0---0-------|
D|---0----------------------|
A|-2------------------------|
E|3-------------------------|

🎵 5️⃣ TAB — Verse Example

“When you score with a chick in a disco bar…”

D A D
e|---------2-----------2---|---------0-----------0---|---------2-----------2---|
B|-------3---3-------3---3-|-------2---2-------2---2-|-------3---3-------3---3-|
G|-----2-------2---2-------|-----2-------2---2-------|-----2-------2---2-------|
D|---0----------------------|---2---------------------|---0---------------------|
A|--------------------------|-0-----------------------|-------------------------|
E|--------------------------|-------------------------|-------------------------|
When you score with a chick in a disco bar...

“Take her home in your hairy little car…”

G Bm
e|---------3-----------3---|---------2-----------2---|
B|-------0---0-------0---0-|-------3---3-------3---3-|
G|-----0-------0---0-------|-----4-------4---4-------|
D|---0----------------------|---4---------------------|
A|-2------------------------|-2-----------------------|
E|3-------------------------|-------------------------|

🎵 6️⃣ CHORUS TAB

“You’re the oldest swinger in town…”

D A D
e|---------2-----------2---|---------0-----------0---|---------2-----------2---|
B|-------3---3-------3---3-|-------2---2-------2---2-|-------3---3-------3---3-|
G|-----2-------2---2-------|-----2-------2---2-------|-----2-------2---2-------|
D|---0----------------------|---2---------------------|---0---------------------|
A|--------------------------|-0-----------------------|-------------------------|
E|--------------------------|-------------------------|-------------------------|
You’re the oldest swinger in town...

🎵 7️⃣ STRUM BREAKDOWN — “Here you come and there you go…”

Switch to strumming here for humor and punch.

G D A6
e|--3----3----3----|--2----2----2-|--0----0----0----|
B|--0----0----0----|--3----3----3-|--2----2----2----|
G|--0----0----0----|--2----2----2-|--2----2----2----|
D|--0----0----0----|--0----0----0-|--2----2----2----|
A|--2----2----2----|--------------|--0----0----0----|
E|--3----3----3----|--------------|-----------------|
↓ ↓↑ ↑↓↑ ↓ ↓↑ ↑↓↑ ↓ ↓↑ ↑↓↑

🎧 8️⃣ PERFORMANCE NOTES

Verses: light palm-muted fingerpicking.

Chorus: relaxed swing strumming.

Use humor and bounce — this song thrives on character.

Finish with a spoken grin and an open D chord, letting it ring.

Below is the list of sheet music and tin whistle songs that are in my ebooks. This is the largest collection of tin whistle songs ever put together.[over 1,000 songs ] Including folk, pop and trad tunes plus German And French songs along with Christmas Carols.
All of the sheet music tabs have been made as easy to play as was possible.
The price of the ebooks is €7.50 . The Oldest Swinger In Town Is Included.

The Bards Song The Oldest Swinger In Town

The oldest swinger in town sheet music is here