Old Maid In The Garrett Lyrics And Chords
The Old Maid In The Garrett Irish Folk Song Lyrics And Guitar Chords, was recorded by The Clancys , The Flying Column who recorded a version of The Galtee Mountain Boy Song , Steeleye Span , The Dublin City Ramblers, this song dates back to the 17th century but the lyrics here are 19th century by Martin Parker from London .The guitar chords in D are in chordpro. [Not a song you would hear a lot of women sing] the sheet music is included. The youtube video is Sweeneys Men who play the song in the key of F#. Steeleye Span play it in F.
This song is a pure gem of Irish self-mockery: a woman lamenting her single status with humour so sharp it could peel a spud.
We begin with the old Irish superstition:
“Going to a wedding is the making of another.”
Meaning:
“If there’s a wedding, someone else will get paired off too.”
So she starts practically BEGGING divine matchmaking services like she’s praying for rain in July:
“O kind providence, send me to a wedding!”
She’s not waiting to be invited --
she’ll crash the thing if necessary.
Then the heartbreaking comedy:
Her sister Jean — not handsome or good looking --
had a fella at sixteen…
This is peak Irish sibling brutality:
If you’re not pretty yourself --
you make DAMN sure everyone knows your sister isn’t either.
And now Jean, at twenty-four, has:
Then she begins her sales pitch:
“I can cook, I can sew, I can keep the house tidy…”
She’s practically advertising herself like a job posting:
Domestic goddess, no previous husbands, references available upon request.
And the dream?
“A wee fat man to call me his own deary.”
Not a prince, not a millionaire --
No --
She just wants a small, chubby fella with affection and maybe a warm lap.
Then the recruitment drive:
Come landsman, come tinsman, come tinker, come tailor…
come rich man, come poor man, come fool or come witty…”
She’ll take ANYBODY with a Y-chromosome and a pulse.
She’s one step away from hanging a sign on her door:
“Wanted: husband — no experience required.”
Finally, the resignation:
“Nobody’s heeding, nobody’s pleading…”
No suitors.
No proposals.
Not even a drunken compliment at closing time.
So she declares:
“If I can’t get a man — I’ll get a parrot.”
Because at least a parrot can:
In summary, this song is:
“I’m desperate for a husband --
but if all else fails, I’ll settle for a talking bird.”
And honestly --
that’s not the worst backup plan.
We begin with the old Irish superstition:
“Going to a wedding is the making of another.”
Meaning:
“If there’s a wedding, someone else will get paired off too.”
So she starts practically BEGGING divine matchmaking services like she’s praying for rain in July:
“O kind providence, send me to a wedding!”
She’s not waiting to be invited --
she’ll crash the thing if necessary.
Then the heartbreaking comedy:
Her sister Jean — not handsome or good looking --
had a fella at sixteen…
This is peak Irish sibling brutality:
If you’re not pretty yourself --
you make DAMN sure everyone knows your sister isn’t either.
And now Jean, at twenty-four, has:
- a son
- a daughter
- a mortgage
- and a husband snoring beside her
- a wink
- a nod
- or a sniff of courtship
Then she begins her sales pitch:
“I can cook, I can sew, I can keep the house tidy…”
She’s practically advertising herself like a job posting:
Domestic goddess, no previous husbands, references available upon request.
And the dream?
“A wee fat man to call me his own deary.”
Not a prince, not a millionaire --
No --
She just wants a small, chubby fella with affection and maybe a warm lap.
Then the recruitment drive:
Come landsman, come tinsman, come tinker, come tailor…
come rich man, come poor man, come fool or come witty…”
She’ll take ANYBODY with a Y-chromosome and a pulse.
She’s one step away from hanging a sign on her door:
“Wanted: husband — no experience required.”
Finally, the resignation:
“Nobody’s heeding, nobody’s pleading…”
No suitors.
No proposals.
Not even a drunken compliment at closing time.
So she declares:
“If I can’t get a man — I’ll get a parrot.”
Because at least a parrot can:
- greet her in the morning
- chat in the evening
- squawk affection
- and won’t run off with a younger woman
In summary, this song is:
- a hilarious self-roast
- a lament with laughter
- the confession of a pragmatic spinster
- and the Irish art of turning misery into mischief
“I’m desperate for a husband --
but if all else fails, I’ll settle for a talking bird.”
And honestly --
that’s not the worst backup plan.
Old Maid In The Garrett Lyrics And Easy Guitar Chords In D
[D]Now I've often heard it said from me father and me mother
That the[A] going tae a wedding is the[G] making of a[D]nother
[D]Well, if this be[G] true, I will[D] go without a biddin
O kind providence, won't you send me tae a[A] wedding
chorus
And its[D] O[G] dear[D] me, how would it[G] be,
if I[D] die an old maid in a[A] garr[D]et
Well, there's my sister Jean, she's not handsome or good looking
Scarcely sixteen and a fella she was courting
Now at twenty-four with a son and a daughter
Here am I at forty-five and I've never had an offer
I can cook and I can sew and I can keep the house right tidy
Rise up in the morning and get the breakfast ready
There's nothing in this whole world would make me half so cheery
As a wee fat man to call me his own deary
So come landsman or come pinsman, come tinker or come tailor
Come fiddler or come dancer, come ploughboy or come sailor
Come rich man, come poor man, come fool or come witty
Come any man at all that will marry me for pity
Well now I'm away home for nobody's heeding
Nobody's heeding and nobody's pleading
I'll go away to my own bitty garret
If I can't get a man, then I'll have to get a parrot
[D]Now I've often heard it said from me father and me mother
That the[A] going tae a wedding is the[G] making of a[D]nother
[D]Well, if this be[G] true, I will[D] go without a biddin
O kind providence, won't you send me tae a[A] wedding
chorus
And its[D] O[G] dear[D] me, how would it[G] be,
if I[D] die an old maid in a[A] garr[D]et
Well, there's my sister Jean, she's not handsome or good looking
Scarcely sixteen and a fella she was courting
Now at twenty-four with a son and a daughter
Here am I at forty-five and I've never had an offer
I can cook and I can sew and I can keep the house right tidy
Rise up in the morning and get the breakfast ready
There's nothing in this whole world would make me half so cheery
As a wee fat man to call me his own deary
So come landsman or come pinsman, come tinker or come tailor
Come fiddler or come dancer, come ploughboy or come sailor
Come rich man, come poor man, come fool or come witty
Come any man at all that will marry me for pity
Well now I'm away home for nobody's heeding
Nobody's heeding and nobody's pleading
I'll go away to my own bitty garret
If I can't get a man, then I'll have to get a parrot
What's A Garrett ?
A garret is a habitable attic [ loft ] or small and often dismal or cramped living space at the top of a house. this was the least prestigious position in a building, and often had sloping ceilings.
A garret is a habitable attic [ loft ] or small and often dismal or cramped living space at the top of a house. this was the least prestigious position in a building, and often had sloping ceilings.
this is the humorous and beloved Irish folk song “The Old Maid in the Garret.”
Here’s a complete guitar arrangement in G Major, including:
✅ Chords for every verse and chorus
✅ A lively Irish strumming pattern
✅ An intro fingerpicking tab in traditional jig rhythm (to set the feel)
🎶 Key: G Major
Tempo: ♩ = ~100 (light, dancing Irish jig feel — 6/8 time)
🎸 Chords Used
G 320003
C x32010
D xx0232
A x02220
Em 022000
🎵 Intro Fingerpicking Tab (6/8 Jig Feel)
Play this twice before starting Verse 1.
Use thumb for bass and fingers for upper strings. Keep it lilting and bouncy.
G C D G
e|--------3-----------0-----------2-----------2---------3---------|
B|------0---0-------1---1-------3---3-------3---3-----0---0-------|
G|----0-------0---0-------0---2-------2---2-------2-0-------0-----|
D|----------------2-----------0-----------0------------------------|
A|--2-------------------------------------------------2-----------|
E|3---------------------------------------------------------------|
(Each bar = two triplets — count “ONE-two-three, TWO-two-three.”)
🪕 Strumming Pattern (6/8 Irish Jig Feel)
Pattern: ↓ ↓ ↑ ↓ ↓ ↑
Count: 1 2 3 4 5 6
You can also think:
“Down (bass) – down-up (chord) – down (bass) – down-up (chord)”
Keep it bouncy and flowing — this song should sound lighthearted and playful.
🎶 Lyrics with Chords (Key of G)
Verse 1
Now I’ve [G]often heard it said from me [C]father and me [G]mother,
That the [D]goin’ to a wedding is the [C]makin’ of a[G]nother,
Well if this be [C]true, I will [G]go without a [C]biddin’,
Oh kind [G]Providence, won’t you [D]send me to a [G]wedding.
Chorus
And it’s [G]Oh [C]dear [G]me, how would it [C]be,
If I [G]die an old maid in a [D]gar[G]ret.
Verse 2
Well, there’s [G]my sister Jean, she’s not [C]handsome nor good [G]lookin’,
Scarcely [D]sixteen and a fella she was [C]courtin’,
Now at twenty-[C]four with a [G]son and a [C]daughter,
Here am [G]I at forty-[D]five and I’ve [C]never had an [G]offer.
Chorus:
And it’s [G]Oh [C]dear [G]me, how would it [C]be,
If I [G]die an old maid in a [D]gar[G]ret.
Verse 3
I can [G]cook and I can sew and I can [C]keep the house right [G]tidy,
Rise up [D]in the morning and get the [C]breakfast ready,
There’s nothing in this [C]whole wide [G]world would make me [C]half so cheery,
As a [G]wee fat man to [D]call me his own [C]dear[G]y.
Chorus:
And it’s [G]Oh [C]dear [G]me, how would it [C]be,
If I [G]die an old maid in a [D]gar[G]ret.
Verse 4
So come [G]landsman or come pinsman, come [C]tinker or come [G]tailor,
Come [D]fiddler or come dancer, come [C]ploughboy or come [G]sailor,
Come [C]rich man, come poor man, come [G]fool or come [C]witty,
Come [G]any man at [D]all that will [C]marry me for [G]pity.
Chorus:
And it’s [G]Oh [C]dear [G]me, how would it [C]be,
If I [G]die an old maid in a [D]gar[G]ret.
Verse 5
Well now I’m [G]away home for [C]nobody’s [G]heeding,
Nobody’s [D]heeding and [C]nobody’s [G]pleading,
I’ll go a[C]way to my [G]own bitty [C]garret,
If I [G]can’t get a man then I’ll [D]have to get a [C]par[G]rot.
Final Chorus:
And it’s [G]Oh [C]dear [G]me, how would it [C]be,
If I [G]die an old maid in a [D]gar[G]ret!
🎵 Ending Suggestion
After the final chorus:
→ Fingerpick softly G → C → G, letting the last G ring out.
Optional closing tag:
e|--3--2--0--3--|
B|--0--1--0--0--|
G|--0--0--0--0--|
D|--0--2--0--0--|
A|--2--3--2--2--|
E|--3-----3--3--|
(a sweet, lilting finish like an Irish jig fade-out)
🎶 Performance Tips
Keep tempo lively and cheerful (it’s humorous, not mournful).
Alternate fingerpicking for verses and strumming for choruses to add variation.
Add a bit of muted strumming on beat 1 to make it dance-like (“oom-cha-cha”).
Here’s a complete guitar arrangement in G Major, including:
✅ Chords for every verse and chorus
✅ A lively Irish strumming pattern
✅ An intro fingerpicking tab in traditional jig rhythm (to set the feel)
🎶 Key: G Major
Tempo: ♩ = ~100 (light, dancing Irish jig feel — 6/8 time)
🎸 Chords Used
G 320003
C x32010
D xx0232
A x02220
Em 022000
🎵 Intro Fingerpicking Tab (6/8 Jig Feel)
Play this twice before starting Verse 1.
Use thumb for bass and fingers for upper strings. Keep it lilting and bouncy.
G C D G
e|--------3-----------0-----------2-----------2---------3---------|
B|------0---0-------1---1-------3---3-------3---3-----0---0-------|
G|----0-------0---0-------0---2-------2---2-------2-0-------0-----|
D|----------------2-----------0-----------0------------------------|
A|--2-------------------------------------------------2-----------|
E|3---------------------------------------------------------------|
(Each bar = two triplets — count “ONE-two-three, TWO-two-three.”)
🪕 Strumming Pattern (6/8 Irish Jig Feel)
Pattern: ↓ ↓ ↑ ↓ ↓ ↑
Count: 1 2 3 4 5 6
You can also think:
“Down (bass) – down-up (chord) – down (bass) – down-up (chord)”
Keep it bouncy and flowing — this song should sound lighthearted and playful.
🎶 Lyrics with Chords (Key of G)
Verse 1
Now I’ve [G]often heard it said from me [C]father and me [G]mother,
That the [D]goin’ to a wedding is the [C]makin’ of a[G]nother,
Well if this be [C]true, I will [G]go without a [C]biddin’,
Oh kind [G]Providence, won’t you [D]send me to a [G]wedding.
Chorus
And it’s [G]Oh [C]dear [G]me, how would it [C]be,
If I [G]die an old maid in a [D]gar[G]ret.
Verse 2
Well, there’s [G]my sister Jean, she’s not [C]handsome nor good [G]lookin’,
Scarcely [D]sixteen and a fella she was [C]courtin’,
Now at twenty-[C]four with a [G]son and a [C]daughter,
Here am [G]I at forty-[D]five and I’ve [C]never had an [G]offer.
Chorus:
And it’s [G]Oh [C]dear [G]me, how would it [C]be,
If I [G]die an old maid in a [D]gar[G]ret.
Verse 3
I can [G]cook and I can sew and I can [C]keep the house right [G]tidy,
Rise up [D]in the morning and get the [C]breakfast ready,
There’s nothing in this [C]whole wide [G]world would make me [C]half so cheery,
As a [G]wee fat man to [D]call me his own [C]dear[G]y.
Chorus:
And it’s [G]Oh [C]dear [G]me, how would it [C]be,
If I [G]die an old maid in a [D]gar[G]ret.
Verse 4
So come [G]landsman or come pinsman, come [C]tinker or come [G]tailor,
Come [D]fiddler or come dancer, come [C]ploughboy or come [G]sailor,
Come [C]rich man, come poor man, come [G]fool or come [C]witty,
Come [G]any man at [D]all that will [C]marry me for [G]pity.
Chorus:
And it’s [G]Oh [C]dear [G]me, how would it [C]be,
If I [G]die an old maid in a [D]gar[G]ret.
Verse 5
Well now I’m [G]away home for [C]nobody’s [G]heeding,
Nobody’s [D]heeding and [C]nobody’s [G]pleading,
I’ll go a[C]way to my [G]own bitty [C]garret,
If I [G]can’t get a man then I’ll [D]have to get a [C]par[G]rot.
Final Chorus:
And it’s [G]Oh [C]dear [G]me, how would it [C]be,
If I [G]die an old maid in a [D]gar[G]ret!
🎵 Ending Suggestion
After the final chorus:
→ Fingerpick softly G → C → G, letting the last G ring out.
Optional closing tag:
e|--3--2--0--3--|
B|--0--1--0--0--|
G|--0--0--0--0--|
D|--0--2--0--0--|
A|--2--3--2--2--|
E|--3-----3--3--|
(a sweet, lilting finish like an Irish jig fade-out)
🎶 Performance Tips
Keep tempo lively and cheerful (it’s humorous, not mournful).
Alternate fingerpicking for verses and strumming for choruses to add variation.
Add a bit of muted strumming on beat 1 to make it dance-like (“oom-cha-cha”).
Old Maid In The Garret Tin Whistle Sheet Music Notes
