The Lidl Song Lyrics
The Lidl Aldi Song Lyrics. Written and recorded by Mick McConnell about the German stores. Mick says he wrote this song after his wife was sick and he had to do the daily shopping himself. After a couple of weeks he ended up with a shed full of kinds of power tools and d.i.y stuff he never intended to buy. You see Micky isn't much good at the auld d.i.y. around the house. By the way if you didn't already know, it was Mick who wrote that famous ballad ''Only Our Rivers Run Free Lyrics'' many moons ago. Also included is The Lidl Song By Andy Conway. These songs pokes a bit of fun at the German . A song called The Ballad Of Lidl & Aldi was recently recorded by Seamus Moore ahich is different to this version.
I've been shopping in Dunnes Stores now all me life,
But suddenly walks in my lovely wife.
We haven't gat a drop of milk now
and the rent man's on his way,
I got me hair washed cut and blow dried
so we've no funds left today.
We'll go to Lidi, Lidi, whatever the feck it's called
We'll go to Lidi, Lidi, the prices say it all,
I got a pair of shoes an anorak scuba gear
chicken nuggets satellite T.V.
I got the whole back garden decked out for 14.43.
I forgot the milk, and she'll f###king kill me.
Every month the magazine comes out,
from camping gear to brand new German stout.
Me mother wont touch the meat
She thinks its odd and the father's wearing Lycra,
just to walk the fecking dog.
We'll go to Lidi, Lidi, whatever the feck it's called
We'll go to Lidi, Lidi, the prices say it all,
I got a lawnmower, vollyball laptop dartboard
a box of Hitler tea, I have the Christing fecking sorted
with enofe for J.R.B's , I forgot the milk.
Now me shopping's less that 20 quid,
Cheap auld Mars bars take up half me fridge,
The Tayto's still crap, we'll forgive them for that.
The vodka almost kills you with a [ save ? ]
We'll go to Lidi, Lidi, whatever the feck it's called
We'll go to Lidi, Lidi, the prices say it all,
I got a weighing scales beach towel head torch
and a foot spa for herself.
I got a little German midget to come home and wash the delph,
I forgot the milk, I forgot the milk, cheers.
Micky McConnell The Lidl song
Ah now — this song is a glorious Irish comedy about supermarket chaos, budget shopping, impulse buying, and the eternal tragedy of returning home without the one bloody item you actually needed: MILK.
We begin in Dunnes Stores — the Irish shopping default — where our hero has shopped all his life. But times are tough:
“We’ll go to Lidi… whatever the feck it’s called.”
You know the place — the discount German supermarket of mystery — where you go for butter and leave with a kayak, a chainsaw, and a llama-shaped garden ornament.
And the bargains!
He gets:
But of course:
He forgot the milk.
And we all know — Irish wives are loving, patient, and forgiving…
right up until you forget the milk.
Then you’d be safer wrestling a badger.
Then comes the monthly Lidl magazine — the gospel of poor financial choices:
camping gear, German beer, and other random temptations.
His mother won’t touch the meat — she swears it’s suspicious,
and his father is now wearing Lycra — to walk the dog --
a visual spectacle that haunts the neighbourhood.
Third verse — more bargains:
he forgot the milk.
Finally, he brags that his shopping comes under 20 quid:
half the fridge filled with discount Mars bars,
Tayto crisps that taste like cardboard and sadness,
and vodka so strong it could strip paint off the walls.
His final haul includes:
“I forgot the milk!”
Repeated like a confession in church.
In short, the song is a hilarious celebration of:
but if you forget the milk --
you’re dead.
As we’d say in Ireland:
Lidl will save your wallet, but it might just ruin your marriage.
We begin in Dunnes Stores — the Irish shopping default — where our hero has shopped all his life. But times are tough:
- no milk in the house
- the rent man is on the way
- and the fella blew the budget getting his hair washed, cut, and blow-dried like he’s Bono on tour.
“We’ll go to Lidi… whatever the feck it’s called.”
You know the place — the discount German supermarket of mystery — where you go for butter and leave with a kayak, a chainsaw, and a llama-shaped garden ornament.
And the bargains!
He gets:
- shoes
- anorak
- scuba gear
- chicken nuggets
- satellite TV
- and the entire back garden decked out for €14.43
But of course:
He forgot the milk.
And we all know — Irish wives are loving, patient, and forgiving…
right up until you forget the milk.
Then you’d be safer wrestling a badger.
Then comes the monthly Lidl magazine — the gospel of poor financial choices:
camping gear, German beer, and other random temptations.
His mother won’t touch the meat — she swears it’s suspicious,
and his father is now wearing Lycra — to walk the dog --
a visual spectacle that haunts the neighbourhood.
Third verse — more bargains:
- lawnmower
- volleyball set
- laptop
- dartboard
- Hitler tea (this is what happens when Lidl buys job lots from 1947)
- and he’s now fully prepared for christenings, birthdays, possibly funerals.
he forgot the milk.
Finally, he brags that his shopping comes under 20 quid:
half the fridge filled with discount Mars bars,
Tayto crisps that taste like cardboard and sadness,
and vodka so strong it could strip paint off the walls.
His final haul includes:
- weighing scales
- beach towel
- head torch
- foot spa
- and, best of all:
a “little German midget to wash the dishes” --
which is surely illegal but very efficient.
“I forgot the milk!”
Repeated like a confession in church.
In short, the song is a hilarious celebration of:
- impulse shopping
- budget disasters
- Lidl madness
- Irish domestic diplomacy
- and the universal truth:
but if you forget the milk --
you’re dead.
As we’d say in Ireland:
Lidl will save your wallet, but it might just ruin your marriage.
