Back On The Diet Lyrics And Chords by Ben Sands
[ Genre = Irish funny song lyrics ] All them chords in small lower case letters are Minor chords. One of Be Sand's songs took off in the last few years by it being used to sell nappies in the Hug T.V. advertisement .
Chorus:
(G) I’m going (C) back on (G) the diet on (F) Monday
(C) No more French fries, chocolate or gin
(C) Right after (G) midnight on (F) Sunday
It’s (C) back on the (G) diet, I’ve (e) just got to try (a) it, it’s (F) back on the (G) diet again. (C)
(G) Last week I went to the (C) doctor
(G) In with a pain in my (C) toe
(F) He looked at me over his (C) glasses
(d) Spoke in a voice grave and (G) low:
(G) Just step up on the (C) scales there.
(G) Dear me, just as I (e) feared.
If you (a) don’t lose some (d) pounds you (G) won’t be (e) around
by the (a) time next (G) Christmas is (C) here. (G)
Chorus
Going next day to a party
Thought I try on some new gear
Selected the usual sizes
But the problem was soon all too clear.
In spite of straining and stretching
Buttons flew off left and right
I couldn’t fit in the thing as the zippers went ‘cling’
even the tie was too tight
Chorus
Saturday night at the tavern
Just for a whiskey or three
Crawled back home around midnight
Found I’d forgotten my key.
Tried to get in through the window
Got myself stuck halfway in
Hind quarters out with hailstones about
Shoulders and head in the bin.
Chorus
Farewell fry in the morning
So long whiskey and beer
Bye-bye battered cod … and chips
Your days are numbered I fear
Hallo, bran and cornflakes
Cottage cheese and black tay [= tea]
Fruit by the mouth full, nuts by the bagful
Tomatoes and lettuce pray
Chorus
(G) I’m going (C) back on (G) the diet on (F) Monday
(C) No more French fries, chocolate or gin
(C) Right after (G) midnight on (F) Sunday
It’s (C) back on the (G) diet, I’ve (e) just got to try (a) it, it’s (F) back on the (G) diet again. (C)
(G) Last week I went to the (C) doctor
(G) In with a pain in my (C) toe
(F) He looked at me over his (C) glasses
(d) Spoke in a voice grave and (G) low:
(G) Just step up on the (C) scales there.
(G) Dear me, just as I (e) feared.
If you (a) don’t lose some (d) pounds you (G) won’t be (e) around
by the (a) time next (G) Christmas is (C) here. (G)
Chorus
Going next day to a party
Thought I try on some new gear
Selected the usual sizes
But the problem was soon all too clear.
In spite of straining and stretching
Buttons flew off left and right
I couldn’t fit in the thing as the zippers went ‘cling’
even the tie was too tight
Chorus
Saturday night at the tavern
Just for a whiskey or three
Crawled back home around midnight
Found I’d forgotten my key.
Tried to get in through the window
Got myself stuck halfway in
Hind quarters out with hailstones about
Shoulders and head in the bin.
Chorus
Farewell fry in the morning
So long whiskey and beer
Bye-bye battered cod … and chips
Your days are numbered I fear
Hallo, bran and cornflakes
Cottage cheese and black tay [= tea]
Fruit by the mouth full, nuts by the bagful
Tomatoes and lettuce pray
Chorus
